Endless repetitive events

The idea of the post came today while playing with my rings. I usually like to change them or simply deny wearing them. These days yet... I can't do this. I start taking them off but when I touch the engagement ring I realize I have to put everything back because I can't take it off. Nobody forces me to wear it. I simply feel strange if I take it off.

The ring remembered me about another inner conflict that I had... And still have. Never ending things. For example work 40 years from this day on. Living into the same town. Waking up everyday for the rest of your life next to... Same person. Paying for 30 years the loan for a house you don't even like that much. Eating the same food day after day... Not everyday, but often enough. Loosing at least one hour daily on our way to school or work.

And examples can continue. My question and homework... Is how do we avoid destroying ourselves in a situation like this. Do you have a response?

Christmas in 2010

Ini mini miny mo... Christmas came again with snow.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, 'tis the season to be jolly.

It's Christmas. Again. Another year will start in few days. A list of wishes for 2011 is being build as I write my thoughts on this little electronic page. Should we see the results for 2010? I think not. Cause then we'd be disappointed more than we already are. I... For one, know that my list was completely de-turned. As if it would have been stolen by someone and I couldn't remember anything from it.

Yet... For next year there is a new battle plan. Top listed is that I have to do everything in my power to remember what the evil spirits have stolen from me in 2010. Next on my list is to find a job... One to help me feel safe and in peace with myself.

Last but not least... Is to find peace. Inner peace. Fulfillment. Home. Not just a house. A home. Not just somewhere. Someone.

That's my battle plan for next year... No plan B. Just this!

So help us all, God!

Timp... incotro mergi? Spre ce meleaguri, noi, grabit, alergi?

For those who don't know romanian, the title can be translated like this: "time, where do you go? to which new places, in such a  hurry, you go?"

1954. He is born.

1960. She is born.

1984. They meet & get married. 1985. They have a kid. Me... 1992-1993. First grade. 1996-1997. Fifth grade. 2000. Highschool. 2004. Faculty. 2008. Master. Couldn't have done them all without them. Couldn't have existed without them. Thank you, both!

2004. Stranger in Bucharest. Time passed. 2005. Still stranger. 2006... I met you. Not so lonely anymore. Time went by. 2007, 2008, 2009. Now. 2010. We're so close, yet so far away. 2011. When did 5 years passed? When did almost 7 years passed?

2004. Disliking the person who now became my best friend. 2005. Still disliking her. 2006. Brought us in the same group. Time passed. 2008. Same room. 2010. My best friend :).

2005. I find a person to adopt me and be my grandmother. (2000. My last grandmother dies.) I like her very much. I see her almost every day. She was another stranger in my life. But now... a dear friend to me.

2011. To come soon. AMR 14 days.

And time... how can you turn into grown-up a little kid?

When is enough enough?

How do you decide what is better than worse? When do you feel complete if there are so many things missing around you? When is happiness a good feeling? Why would you like to be happy by making others unhappy?

No one knows to answer. We all have questions. We all need answers. But do we all really search them, or are we just acting without sense for the others to not see that we don't act? Complicated? Not! Life! Real, cruel ... life!

What's the limit that you can cross about common sense? Is it fair to treat your friends different? Why can't we say the truth to everybody? Is it ok to lie because you don't want to make someone hurt... and when does he hurt more... when he finds the truth from the beginning or when he finds out that he was lied?

In my opinion enough is never enough. But enough is enough when you can't stand a situation. We should say stop when someone steps on our tail. From the first bad thing that happens to us or should we wait, in the idea that the situation will emprove? I had in my life different signs that things are not the way they should. I was right so many times... and wrong because of not taking them into account .

Listen the signs. Listen to people who were right before!